Dead
by The Elder Swear
Summary: Once again, Dean finds himself dead, but this time, things might be a little different. A certain angel has some explaining to do. Destiel, character death. Rated for language.


**A/N: Another one of my one-shots. It took me a while to figure out how this one was going to go, but I think this works. I swear I didn't mean for it to be this shippy, it just happened! The plot bunny had a mind of its own! Also, I really don't know where the random angst came from in the middle. Oh well, it's there and it's not leaving. **

**Warnings: Language, character death (sort of), and slash**

**Characters/Couples: Dean/Castiel**

**Disclaimer: Supernatural and it's characters belong to Eric Kripke and not me no matter how many sad poems I write or times I cry.**

* * *

><p>The sky overhead was beautiful, a great black curtain dotted with millions of glittering stars. There was no moon, so the stars had nothing but each other to compete with, each one twinkling brightly, almost cheerfully amidst the never ending line of the darkened sky. Below, a very well maintained car was stopped just off a long, winding road, the only sign of civilization for several miles. The tires of the cars hugged the dirt that stretched for a few feet before being overpowered by lush green grass of a large, seemingly endless field. A soft wind gently rustled the grass as crickets provided accompaniment, the only sounds in the peaceful night.<p>

Wind gently traveled over the car and the man lying out on the hood, gently playing with the edge of his jacket and the soft strands of his hair. For a moment, he remained still, his eyes shut, body completely motionless. Then his chest slowly rose and fell and, quite suddenly, his eyes flew open as he took a great shuddering breath. Finding himself in the middle of no where, staring up at an endless sky, Dean Winchester frowned and slowly sat up, blinking in confusion. He definitely hadn't parked here last. Actually, he was having a hard time remembering just where he had… As he looked around, it started to click, a slight flutter of wings next to him slid the final piece into place.

Dean drew a slow breath, something that he now was uncertain if it was even necessary, and looked out into the night, not turning to the figure that now stood next to him. "So, I'm dead again?" he asked, tone strangely calm considering what he was saying. His eyes flicked to the person beside him, who nodded. Sitting up fully and leaning to rest his elbows on his knees, Dean sighed. "Great, that's just great. What was it this time?"

Blue eyes stared at him. "You don't remember?" asked his companion in a low, gravely voice.

"Not really," Dean said, shaking his head. For a moment, he closed his eyes and tried to think back. The last thing he remembered was waking up and… there was something… something about a… His memories wouldn't hold still long enough for Dean to get a good look, everything was messy and jumbled. He frowned. Even for being dead, that was weird; he shouldn't get a head ache looking into his own mind. His gaze dropped to the ground and his brow furrowed. "Was it a witch or some kinda spell?"

After what felt like an hour of silence, Dean turned, slightly annoyed, to the man next to him, or angel really. "What's the matter, Cas? It's not like I haven't done this before."

The angel's gaze was directed at the ground. "Dean… what is the last thing you remember?" Castiel's voice was oddly halted, as if the angel was unsure of his words.

Dean blinked in slight confusion, but did his best to think back. "Uh…" He shook his head. "I don't know, uh, I got Sam's soul back and then… we fought a dragon or something… and I… Sam and I went some place where we… we weren't us…" With a slight wince, Dean looked back at the angel. "Cas, what happened?"

Castiel slowly looked at him, his expression pained. Slowly the angel sat next to him and then turned to stare out at the never ending sky. "Balthazar transported you and Sam to an alternate universe. Raphael was after you and… you were not meant to be harmed."

"Cas." At Dean's firm tone, the angel looked at him. "Cut the crap. Just tell me."

Castiel's throat moved as he swallowed convulsively. If Dean didn't know any better, he could have sworn that the angel was about to cry. Castiel opened his mouth to speak, then shut it and shook his head, he actually seemed to be trembling. "You were trapped there… it-it was all I could do to even get you here…"

Dean put a hand on Castiel's shoulder, the angel wasn't supposed to act like this. He was the emotional one, Cas was strong, unbreakable. "Cas…"

The angel shook his head, shutting his eyes tightly. "You were killed, Dean. I… I couldn't get to you in time. I'm… I'm sorry."

A chill settled in Dean's chest. "What about Sammy?" he managed to ask after a few seconds.

"Sam is… Sam is alive. He has returned safely." Castiel let out a slow breath. "He and Bobby… were very helpful."

Now Dean felt very confused, there was a bit of relief and the chill had passed, but it had primarily been replaced by bafflement. "With what?"

Slowly, Castiel lifted up his eyes and turned to face Dean. "Killing Raphael. After your death, they wanted nothing else. Without their help, it could not have been done… I owe them a great deal."

Dean's eyes went wide and a slight smile spread on his face as he gave the angel's shoulder a squeeze. "Well, isn't that a good thing? No more war up here, right?"

The corners of Castiel's mouth twitched slightly and he nodded. "The war is over, yes."

"Shouldn't you be out celebrating or are angels not allowed to do that?"

Castiel's mouth twitched again, this time almost reaching a tiny smile. "My brothers have been rejoicing since he fell. I am not sure it is entirely proper, but there is nothing against it."

Dean grinned and stood. "Well then, how about you zap me back and we go drink a liquor store?" He turned and spread his arms wide. "Come on, Cas," he said to the still sitting angel. "I don't know why you haven't done it already. Sounds like I've been out for a while."

As the words left his mouth, Dean suddenly felt something strange wash over him. Why hadn't Cas just brought him back? The angel's eyes were once again on the ground, but he didn't seem to really be looking at it and any trace of a smile had fled from his face. Castiel's hands twitched as he opened and shut his mouth a few times before shaking his head. "I can't."

Eyebrows shooting skyward, Dean tried to banish what he now recognized as a growing sense of dread. "What?"

"I can't do it, Dean, nothing can."

"Why the hell not?"

An extremely raw emotion slowly began to ebb onto Castiel's normally placid features. "You were killed in an alternate universe where angels and demons do not exist… where there is nothing after, no Heaven or Hell. Dean, when you died, you were gone. There was nothing…" Castiel shook his head, his words halting slightly. "I tried everything… looked for any way, Sam and Bobby did as well, but…"

Dean found himself letting out a slow breath he didn't know he'd been holding. Slowly, he nodded. "Alright, so how am I here now?"

"Raphael," Castiel started, making Dean's mouth open slightly in disbelief, but he continued. "When he was killed, the energy from his Grace and… the power of the souls that had been lost in the battle were enough for me to find some remnant of you and bring you here. It is only because you have visited this place so often that I was able to get you to your current state."

"So what? I'm not really me?" Now Dean felt anger, rage rising within him.

"No, you are you, but… you must remain here in order to stay so."

For several seconds, Dean said nothing. He didn't know what to say, what to feel. He was more than a little irritated by the whole 'being killed' thing, worried about Sam and what his brother might be doing now, and really frigging pissed too. "I'm stuck here forever?"

Castiel nodded and shut his eyes tightly. "I'm so sorry, Dean."

"Save it, Cas. I don't want to fucking hear it. I'm in this goddamn mess because of you!" Dean turned and paced a few steps, angry practically rolling off of him. He shook his head, feeling a deep need to bitch slap the world. His glare moved over the stars, the ground, Cas, some distant trees, and the right back to Cas. Dean froze. That couldn't be happening. Blinking, Dean hoped his eyes were messing with him. Nope.

Castiel was crying.

Shit. Dean quickly moved back to the angel, anger cooling rapidly. "Cas, hey, I-I'm sorry. Shit. Stop, please stop crying, I didn't mean it."

Castiel muttered something and shook his head. Dean reached out and gently gripped the angel's shoulder. "Hey, it's okay, look at me," he said, lifting Castiel's face up with his other hand. "I didn't mean any of that crap. This isn't your fault, man."

More tears rolled from Castiel's eyes. "But it is. You… you and Sam were sent there on my orders. I-I thought you would be safe… Dean, I… I'm sorry." Castiel pulled Dean's hand from his face and held it tightly in both of his as he shook his head again. "Please, Dean, I'm sorry…" Deep sobs shook the angel's body.

For a second, Dean stood motionless, utterly terrified. He wasn't even good at handling his own emotions let alone someone breaking down in front of him. Even then, a girl was one thing, but an angel? What the hell was he supposed to do? After a few moments of steadying himself, Dean drew the angel closer and locked one arm firmly around his shoulders. Castiel pressed his face into Dean's chest and dropped his hand so he could tightly grip Dean's shirt. Dean buried his newly freed hand in Castiel's ridiculously soft hair. He just stood there, holding Castiel until his shoulders stopped moving and his breathing settled back into a normal rhythm, completely ignoring just how awkward this situation normally would have made him feel.

Eventually, Dean pulled away enough so that he could sit next to Castiel, but he kept his arms around the angel, who rested his head on Dean's shoulder. A few seconds later, Dean let his head gently rest on top of Castiel's, his hair soft against Dean's face. "So," Dean said after a while, "I guess I'm stuck here then?"

"I'm—"

"Cas, no more apologizing."

Castiel nodded.

Dean sighed, his hand absently moving up and down Castiel's arm. "How are Sammy and Bobby taking it?"

"About as well as expected. It is likely that I could find a way for them to visit you here," Castiel said slowly, his voice had only recently stopped shaking, still halting in places.

The corners of Dean's mouth twitched up slightly. "That could work. What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

Dean swallowed, feeling like a massive girl. How did Sammy deal with it all the time? This emotion crap wasn't easy. "Can you… hang out here or well… I mean, I guess you're probably pretty busy…"

"Not really."

Dean pulled back just enough to stare down at Castiel properly. "What?"

Castiel looked up at his with his ever intense blue eyes. "I… I do not wish to lead my brothers any longer. I never truly wanted to… angels do not take to free will easily; they feel they must have a leader. They looked to me because God brought me back, they believed He chose me."

Green eyes searched the angel's face. "Do you believe that?"

After a moment, Castiel shrugged. "I do not know. I may have, at first, but now… even if he did intend for such a thing, I… I don't care. If He truly needs someone to lead, He can find another."

Dean's eyebrows rose as a surprised smile spread on his face. "So you're saying God can go screw Himself."

Castiel's eyes flicked to the ground as he nodded and let a tiny grin appear. "Yes."

Letting out a laugh, Dean ruffled Castiel's hair. "Cas, I seriously love you."

Castiel blinked at him. The angel suddenly leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Dean's cheek. "I love you too, Dean," he whispered as he pulled away.

Okay, now Dean felt _really_ awkward. He hadn't exactly meant that… that he loved the angel like _that_. Dean didn't like any dudes like that. Sure, Cas was good looking, you know, for a dude, not that Dean ever noticed or… shit. No, judging by the look the angel was giving him, Castiel had no idea of the massive storm that suddenly kicked up in Dean's head. The guy probably had no clue just how that had sounded. Well, Dean could deal with that later… much later.

Nodding, Dean stared out at the darkened sky and Castiel settled his head back on Dean's shoulder once more. "Cool," Dean said after what felt like an eternity. "So, since you're not going to be the big boss anymore, what're you gonna do?"

Castiel cast a glance up at Dean's face before slowly finding the hunter's hand with his and interlacing their fingers. "I was just planning to sit here quietly."

Maybe Cas did know what he had been doing. After a second, Dean let out a slow chuckle and lightly squeezed Castiel's hand. "You really want to spend your time with me and my deadness?"

"Dean," said Castiel, so seriously that Dean had to look at him. The angel brought up his other hand to gently rest on the side of Dean's face as he looked deeply into the hunter's eyes. "I can not think of a single place I would rather be."

Dean cursed his breath as it caught in his throat. Castiel's eyes briefly flicked to Dean's lips. "I believe this is what happens next," he said, voice just above a whisper, before he closed the small distance between them and kissed Dean softly.

Seven million things sprang to life in Dean's head as he returned the kiss, but as Castiel pulled away and turned back to the sky, resting his head once more on Dean's shoulder, he figured he could sort those out later. At that moment, he agreed with Castiel.

Maybe he could get used to this whole dead thing. It was called Heaven after all. With the angel by his side, Dean finally felt he was getting a piece of it. Being dead definitely had its perks.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yeah... I really don't know where that kissing part came from... it just kinda happened... I think Castiel's a little OOC here what with the crying and stuff, but, I don't know, it made sense when I was writing it... kinda. Anyway, please review and thanks so much to anyone who has reviewed or favorited my other stories! You guys rock!**


End file.
